How to Relax

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Each of us is like the waves and also like the water. Sometimes we’re excited, noisy, and agitated like the waves. Sometimes we’re tranquil like still water. When water is calm, it reflects the blue sky, the clouds, and the trees. Sometimes, whether we’re at home, work, or school, we become tired, agitated, or unhappy and we need to transform into calm water. We already have calmness in us; we just need to know how to make it manifest.

We think that happiness and well-being aren’t possible in the present. If you can stop and establish yourself in the here and the now, you will see that there are many elements of happiness available in this moment, more than enough for you to be happy.

To be mindful is to be truly present with your body and your mind, to harmonize your intentions and actions, and to be in harmony with those around you.

We know that there are those who try very hard to be mindful, and yet they cannot relax. They try to breathe and they try to walk; they try very hard, and yet they’re unable to relax—because trying is not mindfulness. It’s not because you have the intention to relax that you can relax.

When you’re in bed and unable to sleep, the best thing to do is to go back to your breathing. Resting is almost as beneficial as sleeping, and you’ll know you’re doing the best that you can.

Being in solitude can help us relax. Solitude doesn’t mean being by ourselves or away from civilization. Real solitude means we’re not carried away by the crowd, by sorrows about the past, by worries about the future, or by strong emotions in the present.

Suffering and fear are not things that we just experience by ourselves. Our fear and suffering is also the suffering of our parents, our friends, and our society.

Just the way you live your life, the way you react to situations, can already be very helpful. Other people see you react in a peaceful and kind way, and they already begin to learn from you.

We tend to be alive in the future, not now. We say, “Wait until I finish school and get my PhD; then I’ll really be living.” Once we have it—and it wasn’t easy to get—we say to ourselves, “I have to wait until I have a job for my life to really begin.” Then after the job a car, and after the car a house.

Take refuge in mindfulness, and you will see things more clearly and know how to improve the situation. Mindfulness brings about concentration, and concentration brings about insight and wisdom. This is the safest refuge.

The Buddha often said that many people confuse desire with happiness. Before he became a monk, the Buddha had grown up as a prince and had tasted a life of trying to satisfy desires, so his words came from experience. He said that true happiness is a life with few desires, few possessions, and the time to enjoy the many wonders in us and around us

Our idea of happiness is the main obstacle to happiness.

When you do sitting or walking meditation, don’t put too much effort into it. You’re not trying to attain something. Meditation shouldn’t be hard labor. The principle is to be ordinary, not to be too busy. We just live in a normal way. When we eat, we just eat; we don’t speak. If we need to urinate, we urinate. If we’re tired, then we can rest

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